Bone Broke

You know that saying "you don't appreciate what you have until you lose it" well that's basally what happened to me last month. I'm only talking about it now to get it out of my system. I had a lot of money a while back from a settlement that I got from an insurance company. And then I lost it. Or someone stole it. I'm still not quite sure but a bunch of my money is gone now and at the time I was freaking out.

It was like the signs of grief: I was in denial then I was angry, after that I hit depression, then I finally accepted it. It sucks being on a budget and not being able to do the things I want to do now. For example going to concerts or getting my hair done. However in a way it has brought me back to whats really important. I mean money is really important but it made me think about things that I need to work on that will last longer then the amount of Benjamin's in my purse. Like relationships with my friends and family. At that point I was glad I was bone broke because I was becoming a little stuck up. Yeah I do miss having money to blow on whatever I wanted, but its made me realize what things money cant buy. Money cant buy me time I have wasted, it cant buy me talent, and it sure cant buy me a different perspective.

Well I guess money can buy you talent and bribes usually work in changing someones perspective so there are a lot of things money can buy. But the thing is I should have not let money buy me. It should not matter how much money I have, or what I have. What should matter is how I perceive what I have, because I could lose it in any moment. I have taken time to realize even though all the money is gone and someone is probably having a lot of fun spending it right now, I should feel lucky that money was the only thing I did lose, and that even though I have no money right now that wont last forever.

Things come and go. Its up to us whether we flaunt on our past misfortunes or just move on with our life. I guess that's the difference between successful people and not so successful people. Some move on and learn from their mistakes and misfortunes.Others dwell on the past and will only live in the past.

I could go on a rant about how the universe never works in my favor and life is just fucking me over. I have had my fair share of shit happen to me, and I don't expect it to be my last. But i'm so done with dwelling on this damp subject of my misfortunes.

"Shit happens, people are cruel, welcome to life. Get yourself together and get over it."

I think that is the best advice I can give myself right now.