A Brief Moment of Attraction

     Have you ever, just for a brief moment, thought someone truly understood you by pure coincidence. I don't mean understood what you where saying or how you thought. They just understood everything you are and everything you could be or hope to be in your deepest dreams. At that moment when you saw that they understood everything and in that moment you fell in love with them.

     I see that sometimes with people, sometimes they understand me and I love that. I want to kiss them and die knowing that my thoughts are not lost or alone because someone can see me and understand. You can spend a lifetime trying to understand someone, trying to make assumptions. Its a different feeling when someone understands you, it is as if the universe was created for that moment of synchronization.

     Is that how it feels to be in love, to have someone understand you so much that you can grow old with them? Or is it just a brief moment of pure coincidence that you hold on so tightly to that you cant help it but to love them for the rest of your life just for that hope of having that moment again. Maybe not. I have never been in a relationship but yet it seems right for it to be this way, almost natural. To be together so much that you cant help but to understand each other sometimes, or to understand one-another and eventually be together.

     I don't know why I keep getting thoughts of relationships in my head. I guess its that time to get out and meet someone I enjoy, but sometimes I miss those times when I was less concerned about being with someone. When other things preoccupied my mind. I have been dating more, and its really boring. I have not met someone who I really care about.

    I had one of those moments with a guy, I am not going to name him because he could be reading this now, or someone he knows. We had this moment of understanding, resulting in a brief moment of attraction. Well with me anyway, I don't know if it lead him to being attracted to me. This brief moment of understanding has festered into a crush but, that's it some stupid crush. Someone I know it will not last with but I still like them because we had that moment. The timing in our lifes is totally off, I think he hates me and he most likely thinks I hate him. I am always on the verge of giving up on him, and moving on. Strange things keep happening though, like we keep on getting pulled together. Its probably concudence and I should not take it on a symbolic level. But I am.

    Maybe its a sign from the universe saying "There he is, your soul mate." or maybe its me just over thinking every little small detail in life. Yeah its probably the 2nd one, that seems more realistic. I've always been a sucker for fairy tails and the whole "one true love" thing. That was until life hit me hard on the face. Now I doubt every single thing that might have some sort of magic quality. That's why i'm so lost in books, games, music, and art. because they are things that take me away form the real world of bills, schooling, responsibility's, love, and stupid crushes.

     Right now I am confused and I need to focus on my thoughts as a whole. Maybe i'll spend a few weeks in solitude just focusing in school and home. That sounds nice I could use some down time in a enclosed environment. So much has been going on and I have so many emotions, and feelings I don't know how to deal with at the moment.